Adulting is hard. Luckily, Jennifer Garner is here with some sage wisdom that will make taking on the world much easier!
The Camping star recently delivered the commencement speech at her alma mater, Denison University, after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane letters. Speaking to the graduating class of 2019, the mother-of-three dispensed some expert life lessons on how to adult the right way — which she efficiently delivered in eight bullet points.
A lot of these nuggets were classic parental advice — wear sunscreen, stop vaping, opt for a “funny” Halloween costume instead of a “sexy” one — but, as the actress noted: y’all won’t listen to your parents, so she’s here to remind you.
So, grab some paper and a pencil and take notes on Jennifer Garner’s 8 simple rules to live a more fulfilling adult life (below):
“Don’t walk down the Grand Canyon to see what it looks like from the bottom. It’s great from the top, you should do that. But when you get to the bottom, it’s just a big hill, and it’s a pain in the ass to climb back up.”
“Don’t smoke and don’t vape. We know, vaping smells like maple syrup or pineapple or cotton candy, whatever it is. But now that you’re going to be adulting, it’s not cute. Just don’t do it.”
“I’m going to say this because everyone says it, but you won’t listen because nobody does: nothing looks better in your 50s than sunscreen in your 20s.”
“When it comes to Halloween costumes, go funny over sexy. Why would you dress like a flirty nurse when you could be a mailbox?”
“Mixed signals are not mixed signals — they’re a no.”
“Impose self-discipline around three things: have a book on your bedside table at all times — and read it, obviously. Be in charge of your consumption of social media, and foster a sense of humor about yourselves because otherwise, you run the risk of being boring.”
“If you’re a woman — and pardon me for being binary for just a second — the stage has been set. The world is yours to grab. Go out and get it, girl.”
“Finally, stay close to your friends from college. You’ve just spent four years hanging out with them. That history is invaluable. Work friends, you talk to them about work. Lovers, you talk to them about love and dinner reservations. But friends from college, you can talk to them about everything, and you can do nothing with them and still be happy.”
To all those who are still reading this: congratulations — you now have a degree in the Garner School of Adulting. The world is your oyster, now go put on some sunscreen and take it by storm.
If you still want to hear more, watch Jen’s full speech (below).
[Image via Denison University]