Because we is kind, we’re going to give you some tips on getting the invitation right. Who knows—it may even inspire anticipation instead of dread among those of us who have to sit through your stupid wedding.
1. Registry Info
I realize, like, everyone and their mom does this shit now, but it’s hella tacky. You CAN include your Knot website if you have one ON THE SAVE THE DATE, but do not put that long-ass URL on the invitation. This is supposed to be an old fashioned and classy bringer of wedding news, not a fucking blog entry promoting your wedding. If someone wants to know where you’re registered, they can ask you or your mom. Or refer to the fucking save the date, which should be tastefully displayed on their refrigerator for the rest of time.
2. Cash Requests
Yeah, no. I looked for a way around this so as to avoid things like the gold encrusted bible, massive fire pit, and monogrammed towels I just KNEW someone would decide I needed. Alas, people are going to give you gifts from your registry, and some MAY give you fat checks. But some will take it upon themselves to gift you with something they like. Deal with it. Do not put “give us money lol” on your invitation.
3. Address Labels
Yikes. I’m hoping you got a cute stamp with your and your intended’s names on it with your address. If not, don’t even think of using those tacky-ass sticker address labels. You’re better than that. The envelope itself likely cost $3. Get it together.
4. Handwritten Invitations/Envelopes
I know it may seem like a waste of money now, but when you’re knee-deep in save the dates and invites and picking flowers and photographers and all that shit, the last thing you need to do is perfectly address 250 envelopes or hand-write ANY part of your invite. I promise by the 10th one it’ll look like shit. So, if you’re not supposed to use address labels AND you’re not supposed to write them out yourself, how the hell are you supposed to do them? Easy: hire a fucking calligrapher and be done with it.
5. “And Guest”
I realize that your bff has broken up with and gotten back together with her ex six times or your cousin is dating someone new whose name you can’t remember, but please don’t write “and guest.” It’s informal and super tacky. You already texted them to get their addresses, so clarifying the spelling of their boyfriend
Jackson Jakksen Jaccsynn’s name won’t hurt.
6. Notes About Kids
If I had had my way, there would have been a total of zero children at my wedding. The child SCREECHING in the middle of my wedding mass was really the cherry on top of my day. But, whether you want to invite kids or not, do not make any mention of it on your invites. Make sure family and friends know privately that it’s an adults only event ahead of time. Putting it on the invite will just piss people off.
7. Obnoxious Designs
I realize you may be having a bohemian rustic woodland wedding, but having your invites printed on a six-layer lace and wood invite that sings fairy songs when it opens is not necessary. Keep that shit clean and classy—you can still express yourself—but keep the kitschy shit to a minimum. Keep in mind you need to include shit like the RSVP card, directions, and another envelope ALL within the ONE envelope. So, going nutso on designs just makes that shit more cumbersome.